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Slash and Burn
A Parody

copyright 2002, by Nyx Fixx

Disclaimer:    These characters were created by Thomas Harris.  They are used herein without permission, but in the spirit of admiration and respect.  No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit, of any kind, is made by the creator, maintainer or contributors to this site.

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Will Graham looked from the ancient medical text on the Dr. Lecter’s shelf back to the mad psychiatrist's undeniably handsome face.

Those red eyes of his are sooo attractive, Graham thought, and then cut the thought off before it could progress any further. Before he could fall into those deep ruddy pools that regarded him so ardently, and drown sweetly in their rosy depths.

Because, suddenly, he knew. He knew that Lecter was the murderer, and he knew that Lecter knew that he knew. And he knew that he was more attracted to this dark and irresistible angel of death than he had ever been to anyone else before, even to Molly, even to Trixie the hat-check girl at Fernando’s Hideaway, even to Betty Kreigel, the cheerleader and vice-president of the Chemistry Club who had broken his heart in the seventh grade. He knew that he was only a heartbeat away from taking that slim, wiry body in his arms and trading everything he had, everything he had ever been, for a single kiss from those red, red lips.

And he knew that Dr. Lecter knew THAT too.

''Uh . . . I have to make a phone call,’’ Graham stammered in his confusion and desire, and stood up to leave the office.

Dr. Lecter remained seated, and his eyes swept over Graham's tanned skin and stocky form appreciatively. His gaze lingered on the obvious erection that tented Graham’s trousers, and when he raised his maroon eyes to Graham’s ice-blue ones once more, he smiled knowingly.

''Tell me, Will, would you ever say to me - ‘do you prefer to be on the bottom or the top’?’’

‘’Uh . . . I have to make a phone call right NOW,’’ Graham rasped, passion drying his throat and giving the lie to his words.

Dr. Lecter slowly ran one of his slender, elegant hands over his delectable mouth, and Graham’s stomach tightened involuntarily.

‘’Do you ever wonder why you’re so attracted to me, Will? Why you ache to touch me, take me, taste me? And why I in my turn want all these things too? It’s because we’re just alike.’’

‘’UM . . . uh . . . phone . . . gotta go . . . uhhhnnerrk . . .’’

‘’You know what I’m saying is true, Will, ‘’ Lecter purred, rising smoothly from the chair behind his desk. ‘’Because you and you alone have the ability to look into my very heart. You can see it. You know how much I love you, how much I want y-’’

Graham turned away and sprinted out of the office before Lecter could finish, before Lecter could figure out that he was about to be busted on nine counts of murder and decided to do something about it, before Graham himself would lose all self-control and reach out for the forbidden fruit that tempted him so.

As Will Graham stood trembling with need before the payphone in the hallway and rummaged in his pockets for a quarter, he could not know that the object of his newfound desire was creeping up behind him, shapely feet encased in only the sheerest of socks.

He first felt only the burning imprint of those lips whispering over the nape of his bronzed neck, and he almost swooned. Then the strong, slim hands grasped his broad shoulders and gently turned him around.

Dr. Lecter - Hannibal - was so close, so close - those great dark eyes burned redly, full of a melting tenderness that Graham had never dreamed of. The two men fell into one another’s arms and they kissed passionately.

''Is that a linoleum knife in your pocket?’’ Graham gasped when their first kiss finally broke.

‘’No, Will, I’m just happy to see you,’’ Dr. Lecter said with a smile, and raised his face to Graham’s for another kiss.

The hallway became their tabernacle and the payphone presided over their union, a union far beyond the bonds of society’s understanding, a union that was meant to be.

They helped each other remove their clothes quickly, mutual lust making them careless in their eagerness. A Hilfiger pullover, a Hugo Boss silk tie, one Hush Puppies loafer, one very nice Armani shirt, and a pair of Calvin Klein briefs suffered for their impatience.

Naked they sank to floor, finely toned and well-muscled bodies writhing together, rolling in their unbridled passion over the vaguely Peptol-Bismol colored industrial carpet beneath them.

‘’AAAaarRroooogg,’’ Graham exclaimed in his ecstasy.

‘’Gggleeeeeep,’’ Dr. Lecter responded with equal passion.

Over and under, backwards and forward, sideways and lengthwise, to and fro. Nothing in either man's previous experience had ever been anything like this.

When it was over, Graham sighed with contentment and stretched his lean brown body out on the nubby pink carpet.

He now knew that he’d asked that hot young trainee from UV - that new girl at the academy - what was her name, again? - he knew he’d asked her out - Clarice - for the very last time. At last he finally knew his own heart.

''This the kind of thing you had in mind?’’ he said to his lover with an arch smile.

Dr. Lecter laughed richly as he began to put his clothes back on.

''Very nearly, Will. This is a memory I will always treasure, you must realize. There’s likely to be a whole new wing in my memory palace before much longer. The Will Graham Wing. On the other hand . . .’’

He stopped for a moment, and there was some aching sorrow in the deep, rufous depths of his wonderful eyes. Will finished zipping his jeans up and pulled on his sweater as he waited for his Hannibal to say whatever he had to say, to voice whatever it was that had made him look so sad.

They both stood up and embraced once more. Dr. Lecter plundered the depths of Will’s mouth with an almost desperate passion, then moved his lips to Will’s ear.

‘’I’m afraid I haven't been entirely truthful with you, my darling Will,’’ he whispered.

‘’I forgive you . . . Hannibal,’’ Will responded, dazed with delight at that mouth at his ear. ‘What ever it is, tell me now. And we’ll get past it - together. What were you not truthful with me about?’’

‘’Well, er, actually, the truth is . . . that WAS a linoleum knife in my pocket, Will.’’

''GAAHHHHHH,’’ Graham said as Dr. Lecter gutted him like a flounder, kicked him once in the head as he collapsed to the floor, and then knelt to kiss him, one last time, on the lips.

‘’But whyyyy??’’ Graham wheezed broken-heartedly, hurt spilling from his eyes and guts oozing out of his tummy.

''Because each man kills the thing he loves,’’ Dr. Lecter said softly. A single tear coursed down his pale, chiseled cheek. ''And because I’m not going to prison if I can help it, either. Sorry, Will.''

Then he rose to his feet and tore the payphone out of the wall before he left the building, and left his one and only true love behind for good.

Will tried not to cry as he realized he would never see Hannibal again, and as he found it really hard to keep all those slippery entrails inside his belly instead of sliding around all over the floor.

And outside, the sun set mournfully on a world that could be so cruel to those who love not wisely, but too well.


copyright 2002, by Nyx Fixx

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