Loving Lecter Archive Index Header

Recent Acquisitions

All Stories by Theme

All Stories by Author

All Stories by Title - A - F

All Stories by Title - G - L

All Stories by Title - M - S

All Stories by Title - T - Z

Appetizers - Short Works

Challenge Section

Crossover Stories

Works in Verse

Other Lecterfic Sites

Fanfic on the Web

Author's Resources

Submission Guide

Browse Main Index

Language Barrier

copyright 2002, by Screaming Lamb

Disclaimer:    These characters were created by Thomas Harris.  They are used herein without permission, but in the spirit of admiration and respect.  No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit, of any kind, is made by the creator, maintainer or contributors to this site.

Send Feedback to Author

“Why don’t you just buy a Chinese baby? They’re cheaper than shoats”

“It’s a good thing to do. We might do that too.”

And four years after Mason’s half-hearted suggestion, that is exactly what Margot Verger and Judy Ingram did. They already had a child of their own, a son, the successful result of “harvesting Mason’s viable sperm”. They decided it was time to follow Mason’s advice.

Several thousands of dollars and doctored documents later, still jet-lagged and weak from the humidity, Margot and Judy sat in the waiting room of the Nanchang orphanage. The endless paperwork was almost done; they had only to wait for the application for their new baby’s passport and then they could go back home with their newly adopted daughter. Judy was as chipper as always; Margot was in the foulest of moods.

“Was this the kind of thing you were thinking of when we decided on coming to China?”

“No” Margot replied “I wasn’t thinking it would be so damn hot and humid and that nobody here would understand English and that we’d eat nothing but fried noodles - this is NOT the kind of thing I was thinking of for a vacation! I just want to finish with the damn formalities and go back home with our baby!”

Finally, it was their turn to meet in the orphanage office to finalize the paperwork. The abandoned baby girl they had chosen to adopt had been nameless, and after some discussion Margot and Judy decided to name her after Clarice Starling. The short, skinny orphanage clerk was completing the final documents, but the language barrier made the process excruciatingly slow.

“Yes, what you please name baby on passport, yes?”

Judy shot Margot an amused glance. “I think he’s asking the baby’s name.”

“Well duh Judy, I figured that!” Margot’s mood was deteriorating quickly. Patience was never one of her virtues.

“The baby’s name is Clarice Xian Verger. Would you like me to write it for you?”

The soft spoken Chinese man smiled politely at Margot. “No no, I must write. Yes, Verger. Yes. Xian. What is first name please?”


“Krissy? Yes?”

“No no, it’s CLARICE. C-L-A-R-I-C-E”

The clerk looked like he understood, but looks can be deceiving.
“Ah yes. Candice. Is good American name, yes!”

“No no no! Not “Candice”! CLARICE! C-L-A-R-I-C-E! Isn’t there anyone here who understands English?” Margot was almost completely out of patience.

“Hey Margot, relax….it’s not his fault he’s not fluent in English.” Judy had all the patience in the world.

“Okay. Yes. Baby’s name is Sheree, yes? Is good name!”

That was it. Margot had not an ounce of patience left.
“NO! The baby’s name is NOT Krissy. It’s NOT Candice. And it’s NOT Sheree! It’s CLARICE, for the very last time!!! Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”

Judy smiled weakly at the clerk. “Sorry. She isn’t feeling too well.”

The clerk smiled back. “Okay yes. I understanding name now. So, baby’s name on passport is “Claricefortheverylasttime Xian Verger, yes?”

Judy never told Margot why she was rolling around on the floor laughing when Margot returned.


copyright 2002, by Screaming Lamb

Send Feedback to Author


Site Copyright © 2001 by Loving Lecter - The Fan Fiction Site.

This fan fiction site exists to honor characters created by Thomas Harris.
No infringement of rights is intended and no profit, of any kind, is made.