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The Calm Before

copyright 2003, by Hannah

Disclaimer:    CSI and it's characters were created by Anthony E. Zuiker.  They are used herein without permission, but in the spirit of admiration and respect.  No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit, of any kind, is made by the creator, maintainer or contributors to this site.

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She sleeps.

She is beautiful... dark hair fanned out across the pillow, and the slightest smile curved along those delicious lips.

I’m tempted to wake her, to...

Not yet. I need a minute to get my bearings, to think.
I’m not convinced thought is entirely possible under her piercing emerald gaze.

Listen to me. I sound like an old romantic.
No doubt, she’d be pleased to know she has this effect on me.

I’m amazed to find myself here with her. I’d considered it, certainly - and more than I’d like to admit - but I never expected to act on it.

I shouldn’t be here, in fact... not now, at any rate.

I am unaccustomed to acting without thought.
My habit is to analyze, weigh my impulses and reign them in.
But somehow with her...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Her voice is soft, but the tone carries a note of command.

“I was thinking that you’re beautiful.” A smile. “And thinking of waking you...”

“Mmm.. How?”

“How?”

She turns onto her side, propping herself up on an elbow.

“How were you planning to wake me?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to improvise.”

“But you’re already awake.”

“Surely whatever you had in mind involved more than simply waking me.”

She shifts her position, moving closer.

“Yes.”

She moves closer still.

“Show me.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I’m surprised he allowed himself to sleep.
I expected him to resist the vulnerability of it.

Had I been forced to speculate on the form his sleep might take, I’d have guessed that he would turn away, draw into himself. Another surprise - a pleasant one - to feel him against me, his arm draped casually over a hip, his steady breath on the back of my neck.

It seems he desires intimacy regardless of the discomfort it causes him.

He certainly didn’t hold back, though I could see the walls inching back into place almost immediately. So determined to reclaim his distance, to keep his barriers intact. But I’ve seen them fall... he allowed me the privilege. I know how rarely it happens.

I also know that there will always be a struggle with his need to maintain control... and for each time it is lost, there will be a price.

He will never be easy.
I suspect he might suggest that’s part of the attraction, and I admit he’d be right.

It should be interesting to see how he behaves in the morning.
I’d say the odds favor a certain amount of distance.

Then again, he is capable of surprising me...




FIN

copyright 2003, by Hannah

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